Things I lost ... things I found....

 It's been 11 years, 4 months and 23 days since I left the Muppet Daily News under circumstances that can actually still raise my anger. 

Not that I'm counting. 

But evidently I am. 

I've maintained a friendship, albeit a distant one where we see or talk to each other every six months or so, with Fozzie Bear. He's still at the MDN, and carrying the burden of it all almost single-handedly. But the  level of friendship we had when I was still there? It died of neglect. I miss it, but reality is hard. 

And I've landed in a good place. Actually, I had landed in two good places (two jobs, 5 days a week) until the Tequila Barbie became principal. That led to two and a half very difficult and challenging years there, before I left for good and came to the Fishbowl full time. 

While it meant a cut in pay - from two checks to one - it was such a good thing to have happen. 

I really do like working here in the Fishbowl. It's easy work, at times challenging, at times as boring as all get-out. (like today, hence the blogging time). 

I work for and with good people. I enjoy coming to work. I like the work I do. 

Another thing I love is that basically, I got life-outside-of-work back. That happened some when I was still at both jobs 5 days a week, but I mostly had to squeeze everything into Saturday and Sunday. Big stuff, little stuff, mundane stuff, household stuff, even just finding the time to sit and do nothing. 

Now, working Monday to Friday 8am to 4pm, at a job that never comes home with me, I can do stuff after work ... or take that time to relax or, like the other day, sit in the rockers on the porch with Kathy & Mom and just chat. 

And because it's easier to work out time off when it's only one job, I do use occasional vacation days. Not many - not as often as I should - because I used a lot of time in the past year, between my knee replacement, then Kathy's surgery (chauffering her to/from Philly appointments), so I'm trying to build up my time-bank for future needs. But every once in a while I'll take a day - or part of a day - just to give myself a little extra time. 

That's such a novel thing, after 18 years of newspaper life, where I lived to work and worked to work and missed important things because, well, work. Thankfully, I've detoxed from that. I appreciate down-time, whether it's home doing yardwork Mom invents, a shopping day like last Sunday when we ran Mom around to 100 places (ending with Royale Crown ice cream) to keep her busy on Dad's birthday, or just little stuff. I definitely don't miss my old "Live to Work" mentality. Not one bit.

But when I left the Muppet Daily News, it was like parts of me died. My love/desire to photograph rodeos and PBR events waned. Then it disappeared. And sadly, it hasn't reappeared. at least not much.

Thousands of dollars of camera equipment sit in my room, untouched. Dusty. Dormant. 

It's like the debacle at the MDN killed it. Like I associate my cameras with my time there, and that part of me hasn't revived. Sometimes I will think about it - I've charged it and used it a few times - but maybe it isn't coming back. I miss the joy of "Getting the shot" but I can't seem to get myself to pick up my camera. I have a brain full of ideas of things I'd like to go photograph. But then I don't. Or I just use my phone's camera to grab a few random shots. 

I don't know how to get that back. I want to. I hope it's just dormant and hasn't died altogether. But I don't know for sure. 

Maybe with my upcoming Whale Watching trip, or our Lighthouses of New York trip, I'll take the camera and see if the love is still there. 

I'd hate to think that is one more thing the MDN stole from me. 

Sometimes Karma lets you watch....

 I left the Muppet Daily News in March 2014. 

Much of that was due to Hurricane Harry (Person, not weather event) whose desire to be King of the World was overwhelming. 

So overwhelming that he, along with Pepe the King Prawn and Beaker, tried to stage a coup d'etat. 

Basically in his quest to rule the newspaper world, he tried to take out Fozzie Bear. 

Weird, since Fozzie not only ran (runs) the MDN, but also is one of the owners. 

But never let a little thing like that try to slow a hurricane. 

His solution? Cut off Fozzie's right arm (that'd be me) so it's harder for Fozzie to fight back. So that is what our little despot did, and out I go, out of MDN. 

Thankfully Fozzie survived. 

Thankfully I survived, and actually landed in a really good place. More on life there later. 

But unfortunately, despite the failed coup, Hurricane Harry (think of Napoleon, but without the personality) survived as well, albeit at another newspaper (same company, another state).

Then just a few months ago I got news that, even 11 years later, made me grin like a silly fool. 

KARMA FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HURRICANE HARRY. 

Happy, happy, joy, joy. 

And it didn't just catch him... it bit him on the ass. Hard. 

Like federal criminal charges hard. 

It would be sad, except he deserved it. It and so much more. 

So he lost his job, lost his money (Big federal fines), may lose his freedom (doubtful, but a girl can hope), lost any respect people had for him and who knows what else. 

And the stories ran in the newspaper he'd been running ... when he committed the federal offenses. And other area news sites as well. 
Oh public humiliation, thank you for letting me watch. 

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person. 

An extra bright spot was getting to share the matter with Fozzie. Because Fozzie lives on at MDN. He's tired, and most of the staff is gone, but he keeps on truckin'.... 

Fozzie found it amusing, at our recent gabfest, that mention of HH's federal charges actually made me grin. Like big cheesy grin. 

And he wasn't wrong. It did. 

Thank you, Karma, for catching up with Hurricane Harry and letting me watch, even from a distance. 

It didn't make the debacle of March 2014 any easier, but it did make me smile. 

Now if I could just see karma catch up with Pepe or Beaker.... 

A girl can dream....

Crunchy Muppets

Muppets love snack foods.
Muppets love to eat.
If it's in the office, and it's edible, they'll eat it.
If it's here and it's questionable, I can think of at least a few of them (Pepe the King Prawn) who will eat it anyway.
They're not big on bringing snacks, but if you have snacks here, they're all over it like ants at a picnic.

Here in the front office of the Muppet Daily News, we have a pretzel jug.
It's a big, clear plastic jug that was originally filled with little pretzels. They were quickly consumed but we keep the jar.

Periodically it gets refilled.
"Periodically" means "When I do it."
Because, evidently, I am the only person at the Muppet Daily News legally allowed to buy Utz Sourdough Special Extra Dark pretzels.
It must be a law or something.. because either I buy them or the jar stays empty while the Muppets walk by, gazing at it longingly.
Or, in Pepe's case, eating the crumbs and grains of salt out of the bottom of the jar.
(Yes, he really does that.)

I'm not exaggerating.
In the six months since the Muppets became addicted to those pretzels, not one single Muppet has ever bought a bag.
Not one.
Ever.

When they whine ... and oh how they can whine ... I point out that these super-duper exclusive pretzels are available at Wawa, SuperFresh, Acme, Shop-Rite and that any of them can feel free to bring a bag or two in and add them to the jar.

Nope. Hasn't happened yet.

I did fill the jar Monday. Two bags of the magic Utz pretzels will fill the jar nearly to the top.
I poured two bags in Monday morning.
It's more than half-empty already.
It's only Tuesday afternoon.

I hope they're pacing themselves, or storing away pretzels like squirrels store acorns, because this is it for October.
They can bring in more or they can starve.
I'll get some of my own, and bring single servings, in little Zip-Loc baggies, each day, just to torment them.
Poor hungry Muppets.

You can't fix arrogance

So Rizzo the Rat is exactly that... a dirty, sneaky, evil rat.
It's all about how he can use other people to make himself look better, look more important, look like he has a clue what he's doing.

He doesn't. He just wants to look that way.

In the "Hierarchy of Pompous Asses" that lurk in the shadows, skulking around to make life for all at the Muppet Daily News as difficult as possible, Rizzo is an underling. He likes to think of himself as "The Hatchet Man."

I like to think of him as he is... a clueless, pompous rat. The kind even other rats don't like because he makes them look bad.

So today Rizzo threw me under the proverbial Rat-bus. Something I had taken to him back in December, he was going to follow up on and didn't. Now, when the rat-crap starts hitting the fan, he feigns Rat-amnesia and puts it all back on me.

Why?
Because he's a rat. Always will be.

And today, I got a royal nasty butt-chewing by the evil bean-counter.
The one that sits even closer to the right hand of "Oz" than Rizzo.
(think of an ungodly person, with a god-complex ... a cross between Scrooge McDuck ... if that was a Muppet ... and Ebenizer Scrooge ... that's our Oz.)

So I got the butt-chewing from the bean counter (Oooh, pardon me, VICE PRESIDENT OF BEAN COUNTING), for something that was Rizzo's screw up.
And I let it happen.
Why?  Not out of the goodness of my heart. Where Rizzo and VPofBeans is concerned, I don't have a heart.
But because, if I told VPoB the truth, he'd go back to Rizzo. Rizzo would deny everything.
Then I'd be on the VPoB's schnitzel list AND in the crosshairs of Rizzo.
So I fell on my muppet-sword, took the hit, whatever you want to call it.

It was difficult to do.
Infuriating, actually.
But it was probably the wisest decision.
The lesser of two evils, when dealing with evils.
And those two are.

Still waiting to see the backlash, once the drama-level fades from the VPoB.
Who knows.
And through it all, trying to keep it quiet... not because it's such an issue.
Just trying to keep Pepe the King Prawn out of it.
Because Pepe is so far up Rizzo's butt, he can see his tonsils the hard way.
Pepe wants to grow up to be Rizzo.
Proving what an idiot prawn he really is.

What I really need is the patience to ride it out, a schnitzel-deflecting machine, and a winning lottery ticket, so I can walk away from this idiocy.

Here's your Etch-a-Sketch...

Computers are wonderful tools in the hands of the right people.

Statler and Waldorf are not the right people.

They should not be allowed to touch anything even related to a computer because, well, they don't understand how it works, they don't ask if they don't know (before they start hitting buttons), and even when you explain the most basic task, as soon as the explanation ends it is forgotten.

Today at the Muppet Daily News, Waldorf had to print the subscription renewal postcards.

It's not like she really has to do anything high tech.
There is a printed sheet of instructions ... exactly what to hit, when to hit enter, etc.
No thought. Just following directions.

Then she has to print the postcards.

Again, written out instructions that tell her, step by step, how to do it .. including the most basic steps, such as "1. Put the postcard paper in the printer."

Okay, let's be honest... she messed up starting with step one (above).
Yes, really.

Then the postcard stock keeps sticking... a combination of it being thicker than regular paper and the average humidity level here being around 95 percent.

If it sticks (and yes, this is on the instruction sheet), you open the paper drawer, close the paper drawer, and hit the button labeled "OK."

Simple enough?
One would think.
One would be wrong.
Nothing is so simple that Waldorf can't screw it up.
Today, she took that to an all new level.
She would get the order wrong (open drawer, hit 'ok', close drawer).
She would hit the wrong button, changing what was on the digital menu (which, until she hits the wrong thing, actually reads "Hit OK").
Then, when she hits the wrong button, the printer goes off into Never-Neverland, printing other things. Mostly this 3-page program thing, built into the printer.

So she did the only "logical" thing... she turned the printer off.
Okay, logical in HER mind.

She can't find a big button labeled "OK" but she can find the power button, which isn't labeled and is built flush to the front of the printer?

Then, because she did that mid-batch of printing postcards, she has to REprint the entire batch.

It's like "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
Because when she restarts, it will restick, and she will repeat the same mistakes.
And she did.
Three times.
That's three times after I reviewed the written instructions with her, reviewed WHICH button (Oh, the LABELED one?) is the "OK" button, and what she should NOT hit.

It'd be much less stressful to do it myself.
But I won't.
Because the first time I do it, it becomes MY job, not hers.
And I already have too many jobs.
So I'll just buy more Excedrin, hide the sharp objects, and try to come up with a standby, unflappable alibi ...
... for the next time she has to print these things again.

Like I said... some people should never touch computers.
Waldorf is a prime example of "some people."
She'd probably screw up the Etch-A-Sketch too.
no, really, she would.

It's an epidemic

Today, the Muppet Daily News appears to be suffering through an epidemic of AMD (Aggressive Muppet Disease).

The symptoms?
Well, you know that old adage, "The Customer is Always Right"?
Yeah, not so much here today.

Someone called with a subscription delivery problem.
The problem? They're not getting their paper.
So Waldorf got the call.
Usually Waldorf isn't here on Fridays, but she came in this morning because she will be out Monday morning ... and her work load (Umm, an hour's worth of work at most?) would be too much on Monday, if she comes in late.

Yeah, okay, whatever.

Back to the call...
The customer called because they aren't getting their paper.
Waldorf told them "Well you paid in March, so you're paid up, so you need to call your post office. It's their fault."

(said rather aggressively, I might add, in a very "how dare you think we did it" tone).

Simply put, the Muppet Daily News does battle with the post office all the time - as does any newspaper that uses the mail.
The post office (the sorting centers, not the individual towns) throw the mail sacks into the corner, til they "get around to it."
Sometimes folks get their papers in two days, three days ... a week and a half.
Depending on the post office's mood.

But I digress... the key issue is Waldorf and how she handles customers.
She has no people-skills whatsoever.
When customers call for simple things, they are no longer simple if Waldorf gets the call.
Complicated things? She can't figure them out.

Even other Muppet coworkers go out of their way to NOT ask questions when Waldorf is here.
Instead they hold them until she isn't here to screw things up.
Waldorf is a sweet person ... but worker-bee she is not.
Not by a long shot.

So Janice (another Muppet ... think of the Muppet Rock Band) ... called and got Waldorf ... (SURPRISE!) ... and got so frustrated trying to get Waldorf to give a simple answer, she hung up... and promptly called back, asking for ME.

Waldorf answered that call, and then got snitty with Janice, because she called asking for me.
So now we have a Muppet snit-off.
Throw in a few snitty advertising Muppets (let's pretend shock that Pepe the King Prawn inserted himself into the middle of everything that has nothing to do with him) and yes, we have an epidemic.

AGGRESSIVE MUPPET DISEASE.

There are days I really dislike when no one else is here (AT ALL, Literally) ... but then I have days like today ...
I have a lot to get done.
A huge amount of work to get done.
Waldorf keeps asking me questions.
Many are questions that have nothing to do with her ... like "what's that?" "What are you doing?" "Is it always this quiet?"  "Where is (insert other Muppet name)?"

Nothing that has anything to do with anything.

I'm trying to smile through it all.
I'm fighting off an onset of AMD.
I refuse to fall victim to their moods.
At least I'm trying....

Taking "Not My Job" to the extreme

I rolled into the offices of the Muppet Daily News exceptionally early this morning ... like two hours before I had to be here.
Insomnia is annoying, but hey, I might as well make use of the time, peace and quiet, right?

So when I got off the elevator and rounded the corner, I saw the door to the advertising department's office standing wide open, lights a-blazing.
I knew, before I even checked, that it wasn't because one of the Ad-Muppets was here.
Hellz bellz, they don't even show up when they're supposed to be here. They're certainly not going to show up early.

No, no, once again (third time in two months, at least), a "highly complex" duty -- closing the door when they left last night -- was far too complicated for them to grasp.

I honestly don't mind if they want to leave their door open ... if their stuff gets stolen ... I really don't care.

But that office connects to the graphics department and the editor/publisher's office ... both of which have higher end equipment in them -- including at times a great deal of camera equipment -- and the Muppets in those offices lock their doors when they leave ... so I think they'd appreciate a little help from Ad-Muppets.

Mind, it's not a high risk building, but it is a building with offices for many different businesses, and we have no control over the comings and goings on any of the floors. Our only defense is closing/locking our office doors when we leave.

Kind of like we would do in our homes. Really not tough to do. It's a door. Close it.

Which brings me to later today ... I had to be out of the office for work-related business from about 9:30 a.m. to just  before noon.
There are 9 other people that SHOULD be here working today.
When I left, several of them were here.
I told them I was leaving. I told them I didn't know when I'd be back.
I left.

When I returned ... I found every single office door unlocked and wide open.
And every single Muppet was not to be found.
None.
Nada.
Not a soul.
Or not even one of the soul-less.

I could get worked up about it ... but why bother?
I just can't fathom how it never occurred to even one single Muppet to think "Hmmm, no one else is here. I should wait a little while til someone gets back."
Or maybe "Hmmm, no one else is here. I should probably close our office door."

Because, honestly, that's what I'd do.
Actually, I'd be Option-A ... if no one else was here at all, and we were open for business, I'd stay (barring life threatening reasons) until someone else was here.
And if I couldn't stay, I would absolutely have closed and locked the door ... put up a "be right back in XXX minutes" sign ... not just walked away and leave all the office equipment (including all MY camera equipment) for the taking.

Thankfully, nothing was taken that I know of.
Nothing of mine was taken.
I don't really care about anyone else's.
Well, other than Fozzie's.
Yeah I'd like his stuff to not get stolen too.
Otherwise, have at it folks.
If they don't care about it, why would I?
And obviously they don't.