Poor Statler is having a bad day.
Statler needs three copies of the B-Section of the Muppetville Times from three weeks ago.
She has three copies of the B-Section, but because it only says "Times" at the top, she doesn't know if it's the Muppetville Times or one of the other two Times.
This, despite the fact I have now told her four times in the last five minutes that ALL the Times have the same, identical B-Section, so if the date is right, it's the right B-Section.
Not "just close." All three Times ... ONE joint B-Section.
Yet, here she goes to pull more papers, the Muppetville ones this time, to get the RIGHT B-Sections.
But wait... she just looked at it and saw it's the same B-Section as the one she already has.
Does she begin to understand "Hey, that's right... they all have the same section"???
No, of course she doesn't.
She grumbles because "someone" put the WRONG B-Section in the front section of the Muppetville paper.
In fact, she checked and ALL the Muppetville papers that date have the wrong B-Section.
In her mind anyway.
Because, of course, that's a much simpler explanation than SHE HAD THE RIGHT ONE ALL ALONG, BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.
Sigh. Oh muppets. And so her hunt continues.....
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Tearsheets - take two.
Tearsheets seem to be a popular source of Muppet-frustration, perhaps because it's Waldorf doing them, week after week.
Waldorf is living in the movie "Groundhog's Day," where every day is that dear little Muppet's first day on the job. Every day, everything is shiny and new and whatever she did previously is gone, gone, gone.
Today, Waldorf is pulling tearsheets for ads that ran last week.
Today's episode centers on South Jersey Marina.
Waldorf: "I can't find the ad for this one." (Waving the invoice around like a flag)
Me: (reading the flapping invoice) "See the post-it on it? What does it say?"
(note: It's a hot pink flower-shaped post-it, with writing clear as can be, done in a nice, sharp black Sharpie marker)
Waldorf: "It says 'It's the fishing tournament ad.'"
(I wrote that, so she would know it's an ad saying "fishing tournament." Simple enough? One would think....)
Me: "Do you see the fishing tournament ad?"
Waldorf: "Yes, it's in the sports section. But this (invoice flapping again) says 'South Jersey Marina', not fishing tournament."
Me: "Waldorf, South Jersey Marina is running the tournament. They're paying to advertise the tournament. The ad is for the tournament they're running."
Waldorf: "Well, why doesn't it say that on the invoice?"
Me: "It says 'fishing tournament ad' on the invoice."
Waldorf: "But the invoice says it's South Jersey Marina."
(I pause, to hide all sharp objects before the last bit of self control vanishes.)
Me: "Waldorf, look at the ad." (she pulls out the ad) "What does it say?"
Waldorf: "It says fishing tournament."
Me: "And where does it say the tournament is?"
Waldorf: "At South Jersey Marina."
Me: "Okay, so fishing ad, South Jersey Marina, that's the ad."
Waldorf: "Okay," (tearing it out) "But it says they have an ad in one of the other papers too. What is that one for?"
Me: "The same ad. Seriously. Same ad. S-a-m-e-e-x-a-c-t-a-d."
Waldorf: "Oh, so it's for the fishing tournament too?"
Me: "Yes"
Waldorf: "Okay...."
(she looks in the paper)
Waldorf: "I don't know if this is it. All I see for a fishing tournament is for one in Cape May. This is the Ocean City paper."
Me: "Didn't I say 'same ad'?"
Waldorf: "When?"
Me: "Just tear the thing out and go with it."
Sigh.
Waldorf is living in the movie "Groundhog's Day," where every day is that dear little Muppet's first day on the job. Every day, everything is shiny and new and whatever she did previously is gone, gone, gone.
Today, Waldorf is pulling tearsheets for ads that ran last week.
Today's episode centers on South Jersey Marina.
Waldorf: "I can't find the ad for this one." (Waving the invoice around like a flag)
Me: (reading the flapping invoice) "See the post-it on it? What does it say?"
(note: It's a hot pink flower-shaped post-it, with writing clear as can be, done in a nice, sharp black Sharpie marker)
Waldorf: "It says 'It's the fishing tournament ad.'"
(I wrote that, so she would know it's an ad saying "fishing tournament." Simple enough? One would think....)
Me: "Do you see the fishing tournament ad?"
Waldorf: "Yes, it's in the sports section. But this (invoice flapping again) says 'South Jersey Marina', not fishing tournament."
Me: "Waldorf, South Jersey Marina is running the tournament. They're paying to advertise the tournament. The ad is for the tournament they're running."
Waldorf: "Well, why doesn't it say that on the invoice?"
Me: "It says 'fishing tournament ad' on the invoice."
Waldorf: "But the invoice says it's South Jersey Marina."
(I pause, to hide all sharp objects before the last bit of self control vanishes.)
Me: "Waldorf, look at the ad." (she pulls out the ad) "What does it say?"
Waldorf: "It says fishing tournament."
Me: "And where does it say the tournament is?"
Waldorf: "At South Jersey Marina."
Me: "Okay, so fishing ad, South Jersey Marina, that's the ad."
Waldorf: "Okay," (tearing it out) "But it says they have an ad in one of the other papers too. What is that one for?"
Me: "The same ad. Seriously. Same ad. S-a-m-e-e-x-a-c-t-a-d."
Waldorf: "Oh, so it's for the fishing tournament too?"
Me: "Yes"
Waldorf: "Okay...."
(she looks in the paper)
Waldorf: "I don't know if this is it. All I see for a fishing tournament is for one in Cape May. This is the Ocean City paper."
Me: "Didn't I say 'same ad'?"
Waldorf: "When?"
Me: "Just tear the thing out and go with it."
Sigh.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Tearing up over tearsheets
Here at the Muppet Daily News, there is this wonderful little creature called a "tearsheet."
What it is, basically, is the page an advertiser's ad appears on, torn out of the paper, and mailed to them along with the invoice for that ad. It's like proof that the ad actually ran.
Advertisers that need tearsheets do so for several basic reasons:
1) They are out-of-area and don't receive our newspaper directly.
2) It is an advertising agency, and they need tearsheets (usually 2) as proof to their client that the ad ran and also for their files.
3) (the most common) Because someone in the ad dept. here at the Muppet Daily News, in their effort to look impressive, told their client "Hey, and I will get a copy of the ad mailed to you every single week." That occurs primarily because the ad-muppets aren't the ones who have to tear up that many papers.
Anyway... back to Muppet happenings.
One of the few jobs that Waldorf has here is to pull tearsheets.
At least to most, it would be a small job.
To Waldorf, it is epic. And Waldorf still gets it wrong.
Now I'm not being tough on poor Waldorf ... but how she gets it wrong still boggles my mind.
Note: Waldorf gets the invoice.
On it is a post-it.
The post-it tells Waldorf, specifically, which newspaper(s) the ad is in.
In some cases, it tells Waldorf what page it is on.
Some of the ads that have to get pulled are in the same spot every single issue, every single week.
Their invoices still have to be labeled, or Waldorf won't know where to find the ads.
Also, on the invoices (to which the post-its are stuck), it says exactly what type, and what size, the ad is. Sometimes even what the ad says.
Simple?
Oh one would think so.
At least one who doesn't work with Waldorf would think so.
So this month's episode of "Fun with Tearsheets" went like this:
Some ads, if she wasn't sure, got skipped. Just skipped. Didn't ask me (I am a whole 8 feet away, at most). Just skipped them.
Some ads, if she wasn't sure, she guessed. And guessed badly, I might add.
When I asked about the wrong tearsheets, Waldorf said things like:
"Well, the ad was in the paper, so I thought that was it"
"I didn't know which one it was."
"Well how would I know what ad is for Broadley's?"
- note: The ad says "Broadley's" in it
Asked why Waldorf didn't just ask me which ad it was, or if one was the right ad, Waldorf's answer was:
"Well, I was busy."
Really? Waldorf hasn't been busy at work since about 1996. And that's a generous estimate.
So now I have a pouty Muppet, because I gave the invoices back to Waldorf, and am making her pull the RIGHT tearsheets.
Waldorf said she doesn't think she should have to pull the RIGHT tearsheets, because she already pulled tearsheets for those invoices.
The fact that they were the wrong tearsheets is apparently lost on Waldorf.
Sorry, my little Muppet, but this one, I'm not backing down from. Get tearing, or I'll go all Oscar-the-Grouch on you.
What it is, basically, is the page an advertiser's ad appears on, torn out of the paper, and mailed to them along with the invoice for that ad. It's like proof that the ad actually ran.
Advertisers that need tearsheets do so for several basic reasons:
1) They are out-of-area and don't receive our newspaper directly.
2) It is an advertising agency, and they need tearsheets (usually 2) as proof to their client that the ad ran and also for their files.
3) (the most common) Because someone in the ad dept. here at the Muppet Daily News, in their effort to look impressive, told their client "Hey, and I will get a copy of the ad mailed to you every single week." That occurs primarily because the ad-muppets aren't the ones who have to tear up that many papers.
Anyway... back to Muppet happenings.
One of the few jobs that Waldorf has here is to pull tearsheets.
At least to most, it would be a small job.
To Waldorf, it is epic. And Waldorf still gets it wrong.
Now I'm not being tough on poor Waldorf ... but how she gets it wrong still boggles my mind.
Note: Waldorf gets the invoice.
On it is a post-it.
The post-it tells Waldorf, specifically, which newspaper(s) the ad is in.
In some cases, it tells Waldorf what page it is on.
Some of the ads that have to get pulled are in the same spot every single issue, every single week.
Their invoices still have to be labeled, or Waldorf won't know where to find the ads.
Also, on the invoices (to which the post-its are stuck), it says exactly what type, and what size, the ad is. Sometimes even what the ad says.
Simple?
Oh one would think so.
At least one who doesn't work with Waldorf would think so.
So this month's episode of "Fun with Tearsheets" went like this:
Some ads, if she wasn't sure, got skipped. Just skipped. Didn't ask me (I am a whole 8 feet away, at most). Just skipped them.
Some ads, if she wasn't sure, she guessed. And guessed badly, I might add.
When I asked about the wrong tearsheets, Waldorf said things like:
"Well, the ad was in the paper, so I thought that was it"
"I didn't know which one it was."
"Well how would I know what ad is for Broadley's?"
- note: The ad says "Broadley's" in it
Asked why Waldorf didn't just ask me which ad it was, or if one was the right ad, Waldorf's answer was:
"Well, I was busy."
Really? Waldorf hasn't been busy at work since about 1996. And that's a generous estimate.
So now I have a pouty Muppet, because I gave the invoices back to Waldorf, and am making her pull the RIGHT tearsheets.
Waldorf said she doesn't think she should have to pull the RIGHT tearsheets, because she already pulled tearsheets for those invoices.
The fact that they were the wrong tearsheets is apparently lost on Waldorf.
Sorry, my little Muppet, but this one, I'm not backing down from. Get tearing, or I'll go all Oscar-the-Grouch on you.
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