It's been 11 years, 4 months and 23 days since I left the Muppet Daily News under circumstances that can actually still raise my anger.
Not that I'm counting.
But evidently I am.
I've maintained a friendship, albeit a distant one where we see or talk to each other every six months or so, with Fozzie Bear. He's still at the MDN, and carrying the burden of it all almost single-handedly. But the level of friendship we had when I was still there? It died of neglect. I miss it, but reality is hard.
And I've landed in a good place. Actually, I had landed in two good places (two jobs, 5 days a week) until the Tequila Barbie became principal. That led to two and a half very difficult and challenging years there, before I left for good and came to the Fishbowl full time.
While it meant a cut in pay - from two checks to one - it was such a good thing to have happen.
I really do like working here in the Fishbowl. It's easy work, at times challenging, at times as boring as all get-out. (like today, hence the blogging time).
I work for and with good people. I enjoy coming to work. I like the work I do.
Another thing I love is that basically, I got life-outside-of-work back. That happened some when I was still at both jobs 5 days a week, but I mostly had to squeeze everything into Saturday and Sunday. Big stuff, little stuff, mundane stuff, household stuff, even just finding the time to sit and do nothing.
Now, working Monday to Friday 8am to 4pm, at a job that never comes home with me, I can do stuff after work ... or take that time to relax or, like the other day, sit in the rockers on the porch with Kathy & Mom and just chat.
And because it's easier to work out time off when it's only one job, I do use occasional vacation days. Not many - not as often as I should - because I used a lot of time in the past year, between my knee replacement, then Kathy's surgery (chauffering her to/from Philly appointments), so I'm trying to build up my time-bank for future needs. But every once in a while I'll take a day - or part of a day - just to give myself a little extra time.
That's such a novel thing, after 18 years of newspaper life, where I lived to work and worked to work and missed important things because, well, work. Thankfully, I've detoxed from that. I appreciate down-time, whether it's home doing yardwork Mom invents, a shopping day like last Sunday when we ran Mom around to 100 places (ending with Royale Crown ice cream) to keep her busy on Dad's birthday, or just little stuff. I definitely don't miss my old "Live to Work" mentality. Not one bit.
But when I left the Muppet Daily News, it was like parts of me died. My love/desire to photograph rodeos and PBR events waned. Then it disappeared. And sadly, it hasn't reappeared. at least not much.
Thousands of dollars of camera equipment sit in my room, untouched. Dusty. Dormant.
It's like the debacle at the MDN killed it. Like I associate my cameras with my time there, and that part of me hasn't revived. Sometimes I will think about it - I've charged it and used it a few times - but maybe it isn't coming back. I miss the joy of "Getting the shot" but I can't seem to get myself to pick up my camera. I have a brain full of ideas of things I'd like to go photograph. But then I don't. Or I just use my phone's camera to grab a few random shots.
I don't know how to get that back. I want to. I hope it's just dormant and hasn't died altogether. But I don't know for sure.
Maybe with my upcoming Whale Watching trip, or our Lighthouses of New York trip, I'll take the camera and see if the love is still there.
I'd hate to think that is one more thing the MDN stole from me.
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