Beaker has trust issues ...

Poor poor Beaker.
Everyone is always out to get him.
Didn't know that? Just ask Beaker.

So today Beaker got a check he receives for doing delivery of some of the Muppet Daily News' special editions, products, etc.
Happy, happy, joy joy - extra money. Right?
Of course not!

Immediately, he wants more.
He's like that insurance commercial.
"I want more, I want more, I really like money, I want more."
That's Beaker's interpretation of "Thank you."

The next inevitable step - and it took less than 30 seconds this time - is "It's not enough."

Somehow, Beaker loves to assume I'm trying to steal his money.
Odd, since first of all, it's not MY money I'm giving him, it's the company's.
Secondly, and I told him straight-out, it is exactly the same amount he received for doing the work in the past two years.
Thirdly, after this many years of dealing with him, I'd pay him anything I could to just get him to shut up and go away.

"LIAR LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!!!"

(well, okay, he said it with more colorful words, including that stuff that comes out of a male cow's butt, but I chose to hear the 'pants on fire' part.)

I know there is no arguing with Beaker.
First of all who can understand all his "meep-meep-money-meep" talk?
And no matter what I say, it's not going to be right.
Because Beaker is never wrong.
At least in Beaker's mind.

So I give him a few options:
1. Call Fozzie and ask him. I paid what he said.
2. Want to look at my Quickbooks, so you can see with your beady Muppet eyes that yes, it is the same amount?
3. Want to talk about the stuff you get paid twice for, in comparison?

So Beaker, the money-whore-Muppet, grumbles off, potty-mouth-meeping.
I don't care ... at least he left.
Obviously he didn't pick options 2 or 3.
Because evidentiary proof is so, well, hard to argue against.
Poor Fozzie.
I'm sure his cell phone is a-ringing.
Hopefully he looks at caller-ID first.